PadanoPerugino mi ha mandato alcune “quotes” , che ho aggiunto all’angolo Ipse Dixit.
Le riporto qui:

“Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.”
Steve Martin

“My girlfriend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of fifteen’.” Emo Philips

“My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects.” Les Dawson

“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
Woody Allen

“My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.” Woody Allen

“I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.” Woody Allen

“There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL convertible.” Leanthony James

“You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.” Emo Philips

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” Steven Seagal

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” Robin Williams

“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.” Johnny Carson

“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.” Paul Rodriguez

“Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children”.

“Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.” Sharon Stone

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex—no matter what she’s reading.” Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

“I saw a heavy woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it. I said, “Thyroid problem?” Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” Tiger Woods

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” Barbara Bush

“Ah, yes “divorce” from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” Robin Williams

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.” Roseanne

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, while, of course, men are just grateful.” Robert de Niro

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?” Dustin Hoffman

Finally, one of the all-time best quotes: In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he
didn’t think there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was a classic: “I believe that forgiving them is God’s function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting.”